Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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