I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Randomize
