...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
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