dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
Randomize
