bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
Bring me that man meat
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
