he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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