i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Randomize
