North Korea, Best Korea!
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
Randomize
