Pants 0. Shit 1.
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
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