You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize