The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
