maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
Randomize
