kristin has been a bad kristin
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
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I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
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