They should really pass out barf bags in church
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Randomize
