then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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