what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Randomize
