what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Randomize
