I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
where are my eyebrows?
Randomize
