That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize