Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
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