he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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