wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
Randomize
