She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
