I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
