My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
17 year olds will be the death of me.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
Randomize
