i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Randomize
