She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
Randomize
