they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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