That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Randomize
