I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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