i wish my penis had a tongue
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
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