Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
Randomize
