Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
