I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Randomize
