its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
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