so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
Randomize