Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Randomize
