There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Randomize
