my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
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