Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
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