You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
Randomize