He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
