yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
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