i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
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