rhymes with "ouble enetration"
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Randomize
