dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
I think your dad took our porno
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
Randomize
