so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
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