whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
Randomize
