I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
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