i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
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