I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
That was before I lit my hair on fire
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