we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
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