IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize
