this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
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