You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize