how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize
