You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
After last night, I could never be a politician.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
