can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
Dude, I woke up in the kitchen, naked, with a blueberry bagel as a pillow.
Can I eat your pillow?
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
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