Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
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