I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
Randomize
