i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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