You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
