Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
