are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
Randomize
