Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
