You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
