Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
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