You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
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And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
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